This one song I currently request for whenever I just wanna let my hair down ..
This is the journal on the ever adventurous life of Nikita, together with her Mummy & Daddy
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Butterflies in my heart
This was what Vicky quoted after our PTA meeting together with Niki's class teacher and principal.
All we can say is we're so proud of Niki and how well she's progressing in school. We know for sure that learning a third language is not easy for her but nevertheless being the little trooper that she is ... she hung on and did pretty decent for her assesment test.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Pow wow time
Can I have a pow pls .. hungry lo
piggy pow .. shortly after this pic was taken pow on the left became cacat pow coz Niki ate one of its ear .. and went ... arrggghhh!! scary stuff!Niki and i are having tea in dragon-i .. Came here for the famous piggy red bean bun. Really the ladies of leisure today.. we spent a good half of the day just window shopping .. Which is quite enjoyable if i may say so meself. Ok pow's here and gonna go eat them now :-)
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Ahnuld is here to safe the world
Hehehehe .. here we are at home on a Saturday night.. guess what we are watching .. can't remember the last time we tuned into channel 2 .. but was channel surfing (ever wondered why there aren't any good shows on a Saturday nite..go figure right) and lo and behold, they're playing Terminator 3 .. what a blast from the past .. and who would have thought it's Gov. Ar-nuld now ;-)
Finally the carnival is here
This morning all of us headed to niki's kindy carnival. T'was so much fun and you should look at the stuff we won. Niki won most of it actually the girl is quite good with carny games i tell you.
And we got her arm painted too .. With a lovely butterfly with stars .
We're now having lunch in black canyon..vicky just had a bowl of fusilli tom yum .. the broth was utterly tomyum heaven ..
Friday, May 22, 2009
Happy tunes courtesy of Coldplay
Now seriously, I knew Gwyneth did the right thing by marrying a british chap by the name of Chris Martin; a match made up of celebrity stardust. Fell head over heels with Chris & gang, when yellow was the new black. I was totally in love with their tunes, their laidbackedness. I mean how cool is coldplay? Well, very.
The band is offering a 'thank you to our fans' free download of their new album.
click here to download. Mine is loading right now. mehopes it's not a scam and/or virus. If somehow you can't see my blog here anymore it means that I've been scammed.
Let them eat cake
While eating a cupcake it made me think of the line out of Marie Antoinette .. hence the title above.
A while back, Vicky & I were talking about soup kitchens, and how you don't see many or at all, I seriously can't think of any soup kitchens that I know of .. in PJ/Shah Alam area. Are there any? Those who have any info please send it to me. Poverty is something all of are well informed of .. unfortunately we don't do enough about it. I feel very strongly about this issue and I would like to help out in whatever little way I can. There are people who have so little, and worse if they are starving. Our reaction to this .. "Let them eat cake" .. shows them how us how removed we are because we live in our safe caccoon. I'm not judging but I feel that I want to do something, I just don't want to "feel" but I want to "do"
I've got to get more information.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Kris Allen Takes Idol Crown
Before you read the rest of the post, let me just say this, America..congratulations you have yet again made another generic popstar! I knew Adam had it too good, it kinda jinxed him in the end didn't it. Anyways for all Glamberts out there, Adam do rock and by far is the best ever AI contestant ever .. like ever.. he definitley made the show this season! .. Adam, go on and make sweet music buddy instead of the run of mill stuffs all Idol winners (except for Carrie & Kelly of course!) are destined to be singing from here on out.
Written by Rob Sheffield for Rolling Stone Magazine
It’s the final countdown! Hope. Dreams. Sweat. Tears. And that’s just the guy whose job is guiding Paula up the stairs. Last night was just the first round — tonight we find out who took the crown. Full disclosure: I voted at least two dozen times for Adam. (I hit a pocket between 11:45 and 12:30 East Coast Time when I was getting through one out of three times.) So did 100 million other voters, all of whom would have gladly cast a ballot to keep from hearing that dogvomit Kara ballad “No Boundaries” again tonight. Too bad. We’re hearing it again. And watching a new Idol take the crown.
For reference: the Kara who wrote the godawful coronation ballad about the hurricane is the same Kara who wrote “La La,” the 2004 Ashlee Simpson hit that’s still a single-of-the-decade contender around this apartment. But the thought of hearing it again is pretty traumatic at the moment. No matter. Last night Adam took round one handily with his cowl-and-fog reinvention of “Mad World,” then nailed it with “A Change Is Gonna Come.” Kris didn’t come close to matching him in terms of vocals, but he seems like a nice guy, right? Nice white suits! Adam looks like such a Clockwork Orange droog!
8:09 pm: They’re all here! Lil Rounds! Anoop! Allison! Alexis! The whole top 13! In those white suits! I missed you, blind guy! I love how you can still hear Adam’s screech above the whole choir. I always love when Allison and Adam are snuggling — it reminds me when she was hugging Kris and Danny goodbye, then turned to Adam as if to say, “I’ll miss you most of all, scarecrow!” “So What” was an awesome beginning, the kind of uptempo number that was sorely missing during last night’s ballad-heavy torpor. I am predicting a night of festivities that will make the David Hassehoff inside all of us shed some Glambert-shaped tears.
8:17 pm: Making David Cook sing a song called “Permanent” is kind of a mean joke. Egads, I forgot how boring you were last year, Cookster — sorry. He’s the Kris kind of Idol, the kind of singer who may not be the most talented, but tries hard and tugs heartstrings and squeaks by week after week as the flashier ones fizzle. I watched last night’s performances over and over again, and I was surprised that Kris handled himself so well on the first couple of songs, before he gokeyed out at the end. Although I’m predicting (and rooting for) a Glambslide, it’ll be far from an atrocity if Kris wins.
That’s why this season was such an up — it was a likeable crew, and even the ones who couldn’t sing weren’t so unbearable to spend time with, right? I wasn’t into the Gokedragon’s voice in the least, but I liked him fine. Same with that Alexis, who sang “Jolene” despite not being able to hit a single one of the high notes in the chorus, and yes, even you, Blind Guy Who Ryan Seacrest Attempted to High-Five. I think it’s the Glambert Effect: his star power just increases the energy level for everyone around him — even Simon looks glad to be there this season. I think Paula said it best: “Adam, you dare to dance in the path of greatness!” But then, Paula always says it best, doesn’t she?
8:27 pm: LATIFAAAAH! And Lil Rounds, who always seems so game even though she can’t carry a tune at all — she got kicked off the show for fubaring up the melody to “I’m Every Woman,” which barely even HAS a melody. No matter. All is forgiven tonight. LIIIIL!
8:32 pm: Oooo, Anoop is getting IRIE! And Alexis too! And Jason Mraz! And my MUTE button!
8:40 pm: Kris Allen and Keith Urban. Nice. I think I like Kris because I like how he spells his name just like Cheryl Ladd’s character on Charlie’s Angels. He kind of looks like Cheryl Ladd, too. Why didn’t they give Glambert the country song that goes “I wanna kiss a girl”?
8:45 pm: Aaaaw — all the girls are singing Fergie’s “Glamorous” together, just like the girls’ choir did on “Gossip Girl.” Flossy flossy!
8:49 pm: Randy’s the only judge who gives Fergie a standing ovation. Or maybe he’s just wondering why she’s wearing the floormat out of his car. Fergie just got a whole line censored, maybe for profanity or maybe because this song is almost as bad as “No Boundaries.”
8:58 pm: Rock of Love reject Bikini Girl does a duet with Bikini-Clad Judge Kara, who apparently wasn’t 100% sure she already sealed her doom on this show with “No Boundaries” last night. There aren’t even enough G’s for this UGGGH.
9:04 pm: Cyndi Lauper? Another Gossip Girl moment! “Time After Time” is like my sixth favorite Cyndi song, but seeing her scat along with Allison Iraheta is what insanely padded finale episodes are for. Glambert needs to bust out some “She Bop” right about now.
9:05 pm: We’re an hour into the show and not a single Glambert shriek? This is NOT MY NOW. I am not INSIDE MY HEAVEN. Idol is not MAKING ME PROUD. (Sorry, just bracing myself for that crap coronation ballad.) Come on, Idol, Glambert is your sole meal ticket this season. Turn that bitch out and make him SING.
9:08 pm: Lionel Richie! You are looking EASY, my man, like a SUNDAY MORNING. (Glambert, get out there and do some “Brick House.” What, are you on vacation night? How long are you taking in that makeup chair?)
9:09 pm: Lionel is KILLING IT. Taste this moment, Gokey. This is so your now! It’ll never be this good again.
9:16 pm: Yeah, Glambert’s “Ring of Fire.” Remember that one? Randy Travis: “I’m speechless.”
9:18 pm: WOW! Glambert meets Kiss! You wanted the best and you got it! “BETH!” Wow. LOVE those…uh…shoulder pads? Snake cages? What the hell is that you’re wearing? Fire your LOVE GUN, Glambert. He is KILLING “Detroit Rock City.”
9:21 pm: Kiss Meet The Phantom of the Park had nothing on Kiss Meet The Phantom of The Glamb-Screech!
9:24 pm: That was even greater than Cyndi with Allison. To recover, I’m going to need some cold gin, tequila, vodka and orange juice.
9:26 pm: Well, THAT was a star. Maybe if Adam doesn’t join Queen as their new lead singer, he could tour with Kiss. He could be Ace, right?
9:28 pm: This is so my now it’s not even funny. Adam rocking (and rolling over) with Kiss was just about the best thing on Idol ALL SEASON LONG. Am I right or am I wrong?
9:30 pm: I was so excited about Santana doing “Black Magic Woman” until Timberfake started to sing. That song belongs to Allison, who is trying to make a devil out of all of us. Jorge, I missed you! Oye como va, Seacrest! This is kind of great, but maybe I’m just still in shock from “Rock & Roll All Nite.” Is that Heather Locklear in the crowd? Smooooth!
9:31 pm: Steve Martin? WTF? Are they going to do “The Grandmother Song?” “King Tut”? Some of those Three Amigos ballads?
9:33 pm: I have the strange feeling this Steve Martin banjo bit is not a joke. I’m not sure, though. Comedy is not pretty! That was perhaps the strangest thing he’s been involved with since “The Man With Two Brains” — and why didn’t he get down with Queen Latifah to re-enact scenes from Bringing Down The House?
9:37 pm: Commercial break = watching Adam sing “Rock & Roll All Nite” again! You show us everything you got, baby baby that’s quite a lot, you drive us wild, we’ll drive you crazy.
9:40 pm: “Do You Think I’m Sexy”? Is Rod Stewart coming out?
9:41 pm: RAAAAAAWWWWWWD!
9:43 pm: Okaaaay, Rod isn’t in 100% top voice right now, but check out Janice Dickinson playing air mandolin!
9:44 pm: Oh Rod, you made a first class fool out of me, but I’m as blind as a fool can be. I wonder why they didn’t get Steve Martin to bust out the banjo on this one.
9:52 pm: Another commercial break: rewatching Cyndi and Allison. Oh, these girls just wanna have fun.
9:54 pm: “We Are The Champions!” This is fucking brilliant.
9:55 pm: Adam and Kris singing this song to each other is pretty fucking sweet. They sure made it happen with the classic rock guest stars tonight.
10:00 pm: Down to the wire. Final results!
10:03 pm: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. [Editor’s note: Kris Allen won]
10:04 pm: Shock.
10:05 pm: Trauma.
10:06 pm: The 5 stages of Kris
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
I’m somewhere between 1 and 2. No, still stuck at 1. But how relieved is Adam not having to sing “No Boundaries”?
10:10 pm: Kris is shocked. Adam is taking it better than Kris. I thought I was prepared for this, yet the scent of “preposterous bullshit” hovers in the air. Kris was incredibly gracious with his apparently sincere “Adam deserves it,” Allison was adorable snuggling with Adam, and me, I feel like the senator in The Godfather who says, “I’m gonna find out what the hell happened here today.” I AM GIVING A GOKEY “DREAM ON” SCREAM OF DISMAY.
What a shocker. I would have bet one of my kidneys that the winner was going to be my black-leather-clad demon-prince hero! Well, now is the time to congratulate the winner, not to bang our heads against the wall and wail “Mad World,” so let all of us Glambskanks just take a moment from our grief to wish Kris a long, prosperous, and happy career. Congratulations, guy. But in all honesty, my head and the wall are demanding a little together time right now. So thank you for the music, Glambert. We will meet again.
[Editors note: distraught Glamberts can console themselves by gazing at photos of Adam Lambert’s glorious Idol moments.]
Rob Sheffield
For reference: the Kara who wrote the godawful coronation ballad about the hurricane is the same Kara who wrote “La La,” the 2004 Ashlee Simpson hit that’s still a single-of-the-decade contender around this apartment. But the thought of hearing it again is pretty traumatic at the moment. No matter. Last night Adam took round one handily with his cowl-and-fog reinvention of “Mad World,” then nailed it with “A Change Is Gonna Come.” Kris didn’t come close to matching him in terms of vocals, but he seems like a nice guy, right? Nice white suits! Adam looks like such a Clockwork Orange droog!
8:09 pm: They’re all here! Lil Rounds! Anoop! Allison! Alexis! The whole top 13! In those white suits! I missed you, blind guy! I love how you can still hear Adam’s screech above the whole choir. I always love when Allison and Adam are snuggling — it reminds me when she was hugging Kris and Danny goodbye, then turned to Adam as if to say, “I’ll miss you most of all, scarecrow!” “So What” was an awesome beginning, the kind of uptempo number that was sorely missing during last night’s ballad-heavy torpor. I am predicting a night of festivities that will make the David Hassehoff inside all of us shed some Glambert-shaped tears.
8:17 pm: Making David Cook sing a song called “Permanent” is kind of a mean joke. Egads, I forgot how boring you were last year, Cookster — sorry. He’s the Kris kind of Idol, the kind of singer who may not be the most talented, but tries hard and tugs heartstrings and squeaks by week after week as the flashier ones fizzle. I watched last night’s performances over and over again, and I was surprised that Kris handled himself so well on the first couple of songs, before he gokeyed out at the end. Although I’m predicting (and rooting for) a Glambslide, it’ll be far from an atrocity if Kris wins.
That’s why this season was such an up — it was a likeable crew, and even the ones who couldn’t sing weren’t so unbearable to spend time with, right? I wasn’t into the Gokedragon’s voice in the least, but I liked him fine. Same with that Alexis, who sang “Jolene” despite not being able to hit a single one of the high notes in the chorus, and yes, even you, Blind Guy Who Ryan Seacrest Attempted to High-Five. I think it’s the Glambert Effect: his star power just increases the energy level for everyone around him — even Simon looks glad to be there this season. I think Paula said it best: “Adam, you dare to dance in the path of greatness!” But then, Paula always says it best, doesn’t she?
8:27 pm: LATIFAAAAH! And Lil Rounds, who always seems so game even though she can’t carry a tune at all — she got kicked off the show for fubaring up the melody to “I’m Every Woman,” which barely even HAS a melody. No matter. All is forgiven tonight. LIIIIL!
8:32 pm: Oooo, Anoop is getting IRIE! And Alexis too! And Jason Mraz! And my MUTE button!
8:40 pm: Kris Allen and Keith Urban. Nice. I think I like Kris because I like how he spells his name just like Cheryl Ladd’s character on Charlie’s Angels. He kind of looks like Cheryl Ladd, too. Why didn’t they give Glambert the country song that goes “I wanna kiss a girl”?
8:45 pm: Aaaaw — all the girls are singing Fergie’s “Glamorous” together, just like the girls’ choir did on “Gossip Girl.” Flossy flossy!
8:49 pm: Randy’s the only judge who gives Fergie a standing ovation. Or maybe he’s just wondering why she’s wearing the floormat out of his car. Fergie just got a whole line censored, maybe for profanity or maybe because this song is almost as bad as “No Boundaries.”
8:58 pm: Rock of Love reject Bikini Girl does a duet with Bikini-Clad Judge Kara, who apparently wasn’t 100% sure she already sealed her doom on this show with “No Boundaries” last night. There aren’t even enough G’s for this UGGGH.
9:04 pm: Cyndi Lauper? Another Gossip Girl moment! “Time After Time” is like my sixth favorite Cyndi song, but seeing her scat along with Allison Iraheta is what insanely padded finale episodes are for. Glambert needs to bust out some “She Bop” right about now.
9:05 pm: We’re an hour into the show and not a single Glambert shriek? This is NOT MY NOW. I am not INSIDE MY HEAVEN. Idol is not MAKING ME PROUD. (Sorry, just bracing myself for that crap coronation ballad.) Come on, Idol, Glambert is your sole meal ticket this season. Turn that bitch out and make him SING.
9:08 pm: Lionel Richie! You are looking EASY, my man, like a SUNDAY MORNING. (Glambert, get out there and do some “Brick House.” What, are you on vacation night? How long are you taking in that makeup chair?)
9:09 pm: Lionel is KILLING IT. Taste this moment, Gokey. This is so your now! It’ll never be this good again.
9:16 pm: Yeah, Glambert’s “Ring of Fire.” Remember that one? Randy Travis: “I’m speechless.”
9:18 pm: WOW! Glambert meets Kiss! You wanted the best and you got it! “BETH!” Wow. LOVE those…uh…shoulder pads? Snake cages? What the hell is that you’re wearing? Fire your LOVE GUN, Glambert. He is KILLING “Detroit Rock City.”
9:21 pm: Kiss Meet The Phantom of the Park had nothing on Kiss Meet The Phantom of The Glamb-Screech!
9:24 pm: That was even greater than Cyndi with Allison. To recover, I’m going to need some cold gin, tequila, vodka and orange juice.
9:26 pm: Well, THAT was a star. Maybe if Adam doesn’t join Queen as their new lead singer, he could tour with Kiss. He could be Ace, right?
9:28 pm: This is so my now it’s not even funny. Adam rocking (and rolling over) with Kiss was just about the best thing on Idol ALL SEASON LONG. Am I right or am I wrong?
9:30 pm: I was so excited about Santana doing “Black Magic Woman” until Timberfake started to sing. That song belongs to Allison, who is trying to make a devil out of all of us. Jorge, I missed you! Oye como va, Seacrest! This is kind of great, but maybe I’m just still in shock from “Rock & Roll All Nite.” Is that Heather Locklear in the crowd? Smooooth!
9:31 pm: Steve Martin? WTF? Are they going to do “The Grandmother Song?” “King Tut”? Some of those Three Amigos ballads?
9:33 pm: I have the strange feeling this Steve Martin banjo bit is not a joke. I’m not sure, though. Comedy is not pretty! That was perhaps the strangest thing he’s been involved with since “The Man With Two Brains” — and why didn’t he get down with Queen Latifah to re-enact scenes from Bringing Down The House?
9:37 pm: Commercial break = watching Adam sing “Rock & Roll All Nite” again! You show us everything you got, baby baby that’s quite a lot, you drive us wild, we’ll drive you crazy.
9:40 pm: “Do You Think I’m Sexy”? Is Rod Stewart coming out?
9:41 pm: RAAAAAAWWWWWWD!
9:43 pm: Okaaaay, Rod isn’t in 100% top voice right now, but check out Janice Dickinson playing air mandolin!
9:44 pm: Oh Rod, you made a first class fool out of me, but I’m as blind as a fool can be. I wonder why they didn’t get Steve Martin to bust out the banjo on this one.
9:52 pm: Another commercial break: rewatching Cyndi and Allison. Oh, these girls just wanna have fun.
9:54 pm: “We Are The Champions!” This is fucking brilliant.
9:55 pm: Adam and Kris singing this song to each other is pretty fucking sweet. They sure made it happen with the classic rock guest stars tonight.
10:00 pm: Down to the wire. Final results!
10:03 pm: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. [Editor’s note: Kris Allen won]
10:04 pm: Shock.
10:05 pm: Trauma.
10:06 pm: The 5 stages of Kris
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
I’m somewhere between 1 and 2. No, still stuck at 1. But how relieved is Adam not having to sing “No Boundaries”?
10:10 pm: Kris is shocked. Adam is taking it better than Kris. I thought I was prepared for this, yet the scent of “preposterous bullshit” hovers in the air. Kris was incredibly gracious with his apparently sincere “Adam deserves it,” Allison was adorable snuggling with Adam, and me, I feel like the senator in The Godfather who says, “I’m gonna find out what the hell happened here today.” I AM GIVING A GOKEY “DREAM ON” SCREAM OF DISMAY.
What a shocker. I would have bet one of my kidneys that the winner was going to be my black-leather-clad demon-prince hero! Well, now is the time to congratulate the winner, not to bang our heads against the wall and wail “Mad World,” so let all of us Glambskanks just take a moment from our grief to wish Kris a long, prosperous, and happy career. Congratulations, guy. But in all honesty, my head and the wall are demanding a little together time right now. So thank you for the music, Glambert. We will meet again.
[Editors note: distraught Glamberts can console themselves by gazing at photos of Adam Lambert’s glorious Idol moments.]
Rob Sheffield
Monday, May 18, 2009
Weekend in Genting
It was way due for a company outing, and we thought that Genting will make a perfect getaway.
It's kinda close by and we can all drive up. We car-pooled of course coz we're preaching environmentally friendly travelling.
Well all of us more or less arrived at the scheduled time .. and since the rooms were under my name, my Genting card reads "Madam Lau Chee Chuiy, Claudine" .. never fail to make me feel older beyond my years. I had to be there to check us in of course .. I was hoping that checking in would be a breeze but there were about 70+ check-in's in front of me .. whatever can we do but go chillax in Coffee Bean while waiting .. and so an ice-blended later .. managed to get all settled into our rooms. Of course the guys were already hitting the outdoor theme parks before the word "go".
Niki and I preferred the less adventurous park and had tons of fun in the indoor park .. we went on all the rides .. at least twice! :) :)
Had our cotton floss, walked around, pondered on whether I should get a vintage AC/DC tee .. (decided against it .. since I'm more of a Def Leppard/Rolling Stones fan!), said "hi" to a ghoul from the Ripley's Believe or Not Museum, went on more rides ..
It was so much fun .. and we had dinner with our group .. it was Indian Cuisine night in Kampong Restaurant .. we ate from 7-ish till 10! They practically had to chase us out!
.. then ahem! more interesting activities followed ..
Had fun at Safari .. lots of partying ensued ..
Then around 3am we headed for the casino ..
... It was a good night :)
Went to bed about 5am and got up around 9am to have breakfast with our colleagues ...
What can I say except that it was a fun weekend :)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Of greens and balls
Vicky is an avid golfer.. you should see his golf set .. its pristine! .. and so shiny :)
I for one .. if la .. if being the word to stress on here .. if I do follow him to the range its usually because I'm there for the teh tarik or a cold coke ..
I've tried to like golf but I'm somewhat adverse to it .. I've even went as far as driving but still I cannot hit the dang white ball no matter how hard I tried .. guess I'll just stick to swimming! Or something which doesn't require as much hand-eye coordination!
Anyways, yesterday as Vicky was practicing his swing, Niki joined him and I was blown away.. the girl can certainly play.. and her swing is excellent with a good follow-through .. and the best thing is .. she always hit the ball as opposed to how hopeless her mom is .. well you go la baby .. mommy will be there to support both you & daddy ok .. :)
Monday, May 11, 2009
Jet Rocco
Jet is my Mother's Day/Birthday gift from hubby :)Here's the newest addition to our family
..meet Jet Rocco!
Jet is a toy poodle and he's 8 weeks old!
He's literally a hairball with the sweetest disposition and loves to cuddle up in corners :)
Say Hi, Jet!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
To every mom out there, I wish you the best ever Mother's Day, may you feel contentment, happiness and secure in your role as a mother.
You can be anaunt who loves her niece just like her own .. so Happy Mother's Day to you too :)
And this day also goes out to my hubby who's the reason why I can be a mom today..
Friday, May 08, 2009
Now..away with guilt and onward with the life
We have all done things that we are not proud of. Perhaps we were not there for a friend when they needed us, or we may have been responsible for unhappiness in our family. These sorts of past actions can leave us feeling ashamed and guilty, and we can end up carrying our guilt for years.
Guilt is probably one of the most debilitating and negative emotions there is — one that can, and often does, destroy a person's life. But if we want to live happy lives, we need to deal with the consequences of our past actions and not allow our lives to be wracked with guilt.
Feeling guilty should not be confused with taking responsibility for our past. Taking responsibility means that we actively address the consequences of our actions in whatever way we can, in particular changing our behavior patterns. Taking responsibility also includes moving on by making peace with the past.
Unlike taking responsibility, which is redeeming and positive, guilt has absolutely no value. Guilt does not encourage us to change in positive ways but debilitates us, leaving us unable to take the action we need to bring about change.
Breaking Out Of The Guilt Cycle
As a behavior pattern, guilt often becomes a self-perpetuating cycle: we do something, we feel guilty about it, we punish ourselves and, because we feel bad, we end up repeating our behavior at the next available opportunity.
The debilitating cycle of guilt continues largely because we do not take full responsibility for our actions or for changing our behavior. But how do we start the process of taking responsibility? By considering, with complete honesty, the part we play in any situation and accepting our role in creating events.
The purpose of this self-examination is to evaluate truthfully whatever occurred so that we can learn how we contributed. Through learning and honest self-assessment, we change our thinking and behavior. We can also forgive ourselves and move on with experience and wisdom.
Real Forgiveness
In this process, forgiveness is vital. However, forgiveness is not what we generally believe it to be.
The Toltec approach holds that real forgiveness has nothing to do with feeling sorry or apologizing — neither of which actually changes anything. True forgiveness is contained in its literal meaning. The word "forgive" is very old, and the prefix "for" means literally "to reject." So the word as a whole means "to reject the giving."
The Toltec approach holds that real forgiveness has nothing to do with feeling sorry or apologizing — neither of which actually changes anything. True forgiveness is contained in its literal meaning. The word "forgive" is very old, and the prefix "for" means literally "to reject." So the word as a whole means "to reject the giving."
We need "to reject the giving" because, if we think we have wronged someone, we use our sense of guilt to "give" to that person. By giving, we hope to make it better, and to exonerate ourselves from our actions. Conversely, if we feel that someone has wronged us, we will continue to demand payment for that offense.
But giving from a sense of guilt can never lead to forgiveness. Neither can forgiveness be bestowed by another; it has to be brought about by ourselves. In the end, unless we can reject all this giving and truly forgive ourselves, we can never really move on and be free of the past.
How does forgiveness work in practice? Say that you have taken responsibility for your past by changing your behavior. The reality is that you can still have unresolved feelings about what you have done.
By simply feeling bad about the past, we never really move on. What's more, we imply that the past is meaningless and has no value. What a waste. For, if we have caused harm, surely we should try to learn from our actions rather than living with a heap of regrets? The process of forgiveness enables you to resolve unresolved feelings so that you can move on.
Forgiving ourselves means finding value in any experience. Instead of just writing off an experience as a painful episode, we should look for the value in that experience and try to take out of the experience whatever we can learn.
By searching for learning and value from our past, we ensure that there is no more need to give or demand payment; we can, indeed, "reject the giving" and so forgive.
To take meaning and value out of any situation, simply ask, "What has this taught me? What lessons can I learn: about myself, about others and about my life? How can I use this new knowledge to change my thinking and behavior and help others avoid the same trap?"
In this light our past, instead of being meaningless and shameful, has a positive and life-enhancing value. By learning to handle our past, and by taking the steps to forgive ourselves in the true sense of the word, we can let go of the debilitating consequences of guilt, and finally move on.
Theun Mares is author of 7 books and a teacher of personal growth based on the Toltec approach to life.
Guilt
I'm guilty of..
1) sometimes fogetting the simple things in life
2) taking things for granted
3) taking my husband for granted
4) taking Niki for granted
5) procrastinating
6) not trying hard enough
7) prioritizing the wrong stuffs
Ok that's enough, there's more.. but I just have to get some out and then move on to fixing it, its pointless to just know .. we must do!
The ‘acomodador’, with its origins in old Mexican traditions is a situation in our life that can be identified as the cause from which moment onwards our development has come to a halt. It can be a trauma, a defeat, a disappointment in love that has lead us to loose our courage in life.
The development of our self-awareness can only proceed if we can liberate ourselves from the ‘acomodador’ situation.How many of us ever started learning something e.g. a musical instrument and then gave up after putting a certain amount of efforts? Almost everybody might have gone through such situation time and again. It’s the Acomodador which lay down the rules at such moments and stops us from pursuing our dreams. It is for us to identify that moment, the Acomodador and go beyond it to pursue our dreams.
To make this happen we need to review our life many times and to review all the personal stories we have created about ourselves until we can forget them and grasp the learning and intuition that has been developed in those situations. It is about finishing unfinished stories and liberating ourselves from a dictator called the ‘acomodador’.
Academics vs Playtime
Nowadays I have to cut down Niki's playtime because her school work is quite frankly piling, in between of her spelling tests on ALL three languages (English, Mandarin and BM) .. she got quite a bit of honework as well and then of course we must practice Mandarin reading together..they've already gone through 8 reading titles in just 4 months!
Every Friday, Niki receives a packet of worksheets that she’s expected to complete at home and turn back in on Monday. The assignments are meant to help her meet class requirements for the week, which includes writing, recognizing and spelling words correctly. We're talking about my gonna-be five year old here.
I remember kindergarten as being games, snacks, and recess .. and scary Mrs Lian .. wish I can turn back the clock but we have to soldier on and face the fact that times have indeed changed and as parents we have to cope and change with the time. I would like to say things if only it was like our time, but the fact is that it's not..
And so as I drill down to the homework with my kid and getting her ready for her spelling tests, I know that I have to do the best for her .. even though it means that there's less playtime. It's hard but we have to do this .. not for us but for her .. though many may not want to admit this, but it's a matter of academic survival out there and only the fittest survive .. a bleak outlook .. actually no, it's just the reality of things.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Monday, May 04, 2009
Mane style
Visited Ruby@Image and am now the proud owner of a new cut that features very much less hair and a dual tone hi-lite in honey bronze. I spent two days in Ruby's .. seriously! So much for volume and longer mane! And maintenance is great just a quick blow & some mud voila! So honey instead of 45 mins I can now say 25 mins!
Friday, May 01, 2009
Just the two of us
It's just the two of us today and we have the whole day planned out. Now we're having lunch at Little Ben's and later we're hitting the malls not exactly the most creative of plans but we're spending a lot of q time together.
Update: Did some shopping and had tea in Tony Roma's. Tea was latte and ribs with a friend of ours Nicky. After which we adjourned for wine in Italiannies with another two friends Joey and Joseph. And then the lot of us went for a nightcap of beers, spirits and some dancing in Waikiki 1. Finally went home around 2-ish.
We were out for more than 14 hours! And discovered that we were not as old as we thought we were heh!
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