Happy moments as I remember them

There are happy moments surrounding me lately.

I am barely holding on to them all because i am still gripping onto 2007 memories. I have been thinking a lot lately. While working, while driving, while showering, it's haunting me. A phrase keeps coming to my mind. What will I remember.

Not so much a question, but a statement. what will i remember. i've come to the conclusion that life is ever-changing. and how you live your days is how you live your life. it's the daily routine that i remember. not necessarily the extraordinary parts of life, but the ordinary daily things. those things are what i remember. they are ingrained. i feel a change of pace coming on and thus, i feel that i have to capture what i have in the here & now. before it's gone.

Let me break this thought-process down.

my life as a whole looks like a series of stages. yes, in my mind, my life can be broken down into sections. when i was younger, the sections consisted of years in school. And when i think back to secondary school, i think of the classes, the teachers (the nice ones, the really scary ones and yes there were pervey ones too, afterall I was schooled in Convent), the boys I liked that I never had the guts to say hello too cos I was way too cocooned in my shell, the silliness, the happiness, the insecurities, the carefree freedom. but if i had to flash to one solid memory of school, i mainly remember walking to my dad's car after school or walking down the school path which was lined with palm trees which surrounded the school padang's green grass beyond it. i have my backpack (the one my daughter uses now to carry her daycare stuffs every Monday to school, yes I kept it all these years..) on my back and my handcarried books, a friend or two by my side. my hair is done in a messy ponytail. the sun is shining through the windows of the stained green windows of our library. my friends and i are laughing at an inside joke, because my whole school career was sewn together by a thread of inside jokes.

Fast forward slightly to the stage of life, just a few years ago when we before we were married lived in sunway, in our rented apartment, the times we shared in each others' arms, the awesome al fresco malay tomyum restaurants, reading or wading by the pool. so many discoveries, so many happy days filled our time there.

Yet, my solid memory: us as in me & vicky walking together in the mornings to catch the bus to work. it sounds like a memory living in the city. but those were my days, the true beginnings of my career life. it is a scene that i flash to, the way i noticed everyone talking on their handphones before work and the way i prepped myself before my daily entrance into the chaotic world of Pelangi's KL Sales Office. the traffic didn't bother me like it does so many, if you plan for it, it's not so bad. you just have extra time to think. and think. and think. that is what i remember.

We watched movies after movies, had dinners and enjoyed the company of our friends then ace&andrea. ace & andrea has since chosen their own life paths but will forever remain as our friends. i feel fortunate that my life so far remains such a good memory for me. wholesome, simple and happy.

I wonder what my daughter will remember about the home that we created for her. The days pass so quickly. the stages of life turn and evolve before we are even ready. i have decided i have to engage myself into my life more fully. so that what i will remember will be colourful and rich and without regret. i want to learn and grow and remember and unfold myself into the best self i can. because i believe we aren't changing, we are simply unfolding who we are. the potential is already within us. this is my goal for 2008. And there's also one that I share with my hubby, that's our nocturnal secret ..

on another note, I am happy to have found this calendar by russel + hazel. it's a perfect downloadable little beauty wherein i can circle and note and scribble all my important days of the new year. am happy that i had one when vicky and i were falling in love. it was a calendar similar to this and i circled all of our momentous occasions and i drew lines out saying first kiss/ i love you's / fights / proposal / etc. i mean, yes of course, he had me at hello, but all the days which followed were just as blissful.happy remembering.happy making the most of this day.and all the days to follow.